I've sold my soul for an easy gold.

In the heat of the field or a gray cubicle space
people slave to stay in this rat race
working just to please the superior man
exploiting you, just because he can
he will rip you off anything you got
you and you and everyone in your block
you gotta watch out for a slavemasters whip
seeing is beliving, this is just a tip

Hail Rasta, never sell your soul
don't fall into temptation of an easy gold
just work for yourself and nobody else
promises promises thats all what he will tell

Hail Rasta, never sell your soul
don't fall into temptation of an easy gold
just work for yourself and nobody else
promises promises.
Thats a first verse and a chorus for a really old song of mine and words hit the target these days. I wrote that one quite a while ago, after coming back from a work having had a conversation with "the boss man".  I had completed some extra tasks and i did the well but found out in the end that i was being ripped off even thou things where "promised".  I ought to have memorized these words to my heart and do what i've been singing. 

Its funny thing you know. I'm not a very popular singer in the local circles in sense of mass following but i do get offers to voice songs and gigs. Actually, i do get so many offers that i tend to turn down the offers more than i actually commit into. Once in a while there's someone whom i feel that deserves something but i do need to feel that the respect of doing the works goes both ways in form of respect. Easy way to do archive this is that i ask for a very nominal fee. It doesn't always have to be money, it can be pretty much anything but the most important thing is that I can trust that the other person is man of his word.  If i take my time and effort to commit into your time schedule, write a song that i don't intend to voice for anyone else, i consider that to be a show of respect for your works. But in same vain, i expect that you commit to same.  This spring i voiced one tune for a few people and was promised a payment of a very nominal amount that wouldn't even cover a studio time if i'd done it elsewhere. I bring in my own gear, i've put time in to write a new song and taken it away from time available for a family. I bring in my own mic, stand & cables which i had to go and fetch from another place.  Afterwards, i get messages almost every day for couple of weeks because "you haven't delivered the pics taken in the session".

But when it comes down to getting what was agreed to be paid, i hear nothing. No phone calls, no messages, just nothing unless I ask and even then, few occasions my phonecalls where not even answered as we already had set a date and time where we should meet.

And in the end, i've been accused for "selling my soul" because i'm asking for a reward that this person promised to deliver 3 months ago.

Apparently this fellow did have enough money and time  to travel to Denmark and Norway but not some 20km from his house. But hey, atleast i got my song to be played in one session and also im a shitty person for trusting a person to be man of his word and holding his part of the transaction.

I really do feel like i've sold my soul but the reason is definitely something that i've been accused for. I've whored my name and time for sure and for that i'm angry and passing the judgement for myself. Why can't i just keep doing my own stuff and avoid these sorts of people who are there only to exploit others?

Im such an idiot.